Artist Statement
Dani Fish is a student at the University of Southern California and has been bored out of her mind ever since the early days of quarantine. Instead of simply watching all of the television she has missed out on throughout the year, she decided to write about what she’s watching in order to challenge herself as well as her readers. First and foremost an actor, she invites all readers to critically think about all media they are consuming. “Self-Loathing in Fleabag” discusses the many difficult topics that Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s groundbreaking Fleabag has introduced to the world. Aside from professing her love for the series, Dani Fish questions the possibly damaging messages of the show in the first article of her upcoming series that discusses the media she has consumed during quarantine.
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Self-Loathing in Fleabag
by Dani Fish
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In these binging trying our favorite times of tv self-isolation, shows. Ask any we are woman all turning you know to bad which eating television habits and
show you should watch next, and she will likely answer with one of her favorite ones from this year, Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag.
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Fleabag’s opening scene will draw you in immediately and introduce you to one of the main themes of the show: the faults of modern love. From this first moment to the conclusion of its second season, the show is undeniably fresh and engaging, especially when it makes the audience its own character as Fleabag, Waller-Bridge’s family nickname, speaks the harsh truth directly into the camera. Any woman who has lived in her twenties can strongly relate to Fleabag’s struggles whether it is related to her lust for romance, her falling-outs with her friends, her poor business skills, or her damaging relationships with family members.
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As much as people, including myself and the whopping 100% Rotten Tomatoes rating praising Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s nuanced depiction of the female experience, are in love with this show, perhaps Waller-Bridge needs to take a second look at some potentially damaging messages the show encourages.
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Fleabag is one of many shows that likes to challenge social norms, therefore generating shock value and drawing in the viewer. But to what extent should a television show, instead, focus on teaching its audience the right lessons? At what point does Fleabag’s shock value potentially encourage young women to practice sabotaging behaviors as Fleabag does?
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Let’s take a deeper look at The Guardian’s interview with Waller-Bridge to understand how her background influenced Fleabag:
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Growing up in an upper-middle class family, “she loved to shock” from a young age. After attending a boarding school for a year, Waller-Bridge felt out of place in returning home to Ealing. It wasn’t until secondary school where she found her true callings: the theatre, making people laugh, and tackling taboos. In struggling to find any work after attending Britain’s RADA, she started to write parts for herself. Insert: Fleabag.
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These foundations of Waller-Bridge’s life are important in understanding the origin of Fleabag’s themes of feeling lost in the confusing world we all try to navigate in young adulthood. Waller-Bridge, while keeping this topic in mind, turns conventional ideals of this regard on their head.
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Waller-Bridge’s search for her own truths drives her writing in Fleabag:
“I write from the point of view of what I’d like to watch. I’m always satisfying my own appetite. So I guess that means transgressive women, friendships, pain. I love pain” (The Guardian).
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Of course, we all deal with our own pain and strife. We love to watch fictional characters deal with the same pains we feel. But this is how Fleabag differs from most programs. Fleabag’s ways of coping with her pain can be fantastical, even borderline troublesome. Consider her way of dealing with romantic rejection: throughout both seasons, Fleabag continues to date guys that are incompatible for her, yet she continues to involve herself
in emotionally abusive relationships, including Harry, Bus Rodent, and The Priest, as she falls into a downward emotional spiral.
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In viewing these relationships, is the viewer expected to use their own judgment to learn the correct lessons from Fleabag’s grave mistakes? Waller-Bridge presents plenty of situations that do not spell out the lesson to be learned. Even Fleabag’s chase after The Priest, for instance. Should the viewer decide that chasing after (literally) forbidden love will reap no benefits ultimately? Or does their relationship teach the viewer to aim for romantic relationships in order to achieve personal growth, not to just have a relationship, regardless of possible consequences? Eventually, Waller-Bridge encourages the latter by leaving Fleabag single, yet improved, after her affair with The Priest.
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Fleabag’s struggles not only teach important lessons about our own relationships, but they also reflect the millennial experience. “As a writer she wants to show women indulging their appetites and venting their grievances,” as men have been encouraged to do so in more than just the entertainment industry (The Guardian). As Waller-Bridge mentions, “we sexualize women all the time in drama and TV. They are objectified. But an exploration of one woman’s creative desire is really exciting. She can be a nice person, but the darker corners of her mind are unusual and fucked up.” Yet, does combating this generalization need to mean having a protagonist experience abusive relationships and have random hookups?
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Naming most of her casual hookups after their aspects rather than their names, such as Hot Misogynist, Arsehole Guy, and Man, speaks to the insensitivity of hookup culture. Waller-Bridge either shows men the negativity that women face in hookup culture or teaches us to participate in objectifying sexual partners. Depending on who you talk to, hookup culture should continue to be encouraged to combat old-fashioned ideals of a romantic relationship. Our monogamist society has condemned female hookup lifestyles for decades. If Fleabag did not handle her hookups in such discouraging and unhealthy ways, she would not perpetuate the stereotype that women need to find the one instead of exploring multiple sexual partners.
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“At the heart of Fleabag is a profound sense of self-loathing” (The Guardian).
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After the immense success that Fleabag has experienced, not only is it influencing the industry, but people are also starting to see how the show has impacted the dating world with the new term ‘fleabagging.’ According to The Guardian’s article dedicated to this word, “fleabagging is a new term to describe the act of repeatedly dating people who are wrong for you.” This term is also being used to refer to more than dating, like being a mess in an “aspirational way,” since the show tackles so many different themes. Whether it regards her romantic or familial relationships, Fleabag almost brags how much she hates herself. It is up to the viewer to decide what being an aspirational mess looks like. This may mean her constant stealing of her stepmother’s statue, her failure to keep her business afloat, or both. Regardless of what this term means to different people, ‘fleabagging’ encourages some of the unhealthy behaviors that Fleabag condemns herself for doing.
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Fleabag’s way of dealing with strife, stemming from her relationship with her begrudging sister, absent father, and bizarre stepmother, also involves internalized depression that she handles in unhealthy fashions, like when she continuously steals her stepmother’s sculpture. As funny as this bit gets, it feeds into the destructive familial relationships that Waller-Bridges explores throughout the series. Her complicated relationship with her sister and father also continues to drive her to feel isolated, like when her father offers her a free counseling season for a birthday gift or Fleabag’s miscarriage cover-up for her sister Claire. It seems that Fleabag is constantly surrounded by destructive relationships. Fleabag’s tendency to brush off her detrimental interactions may show a viewer how to incorrectly deal with similar situations.
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Of course, Fleabag does not only teach questionable lessons to its ever-curious audience. The Guardian points out that Fleabag continues to tackle taboos that “we didn’t even know existed.” Other than relationship troubles, Fleabag also explores the taboo of female masturbation when Fleabag masturbates to a video of Barack Obama giving a speech, which eventually leads to her breakup with Harry later that night. Usually, masturbation is not even discussed among women in media compared to its encouragement among men. Waller-Bridge generates a casual, equalizing conversation surrounding the tabooed female masturbation that we are used to. It is important to recognize that to some, this may not be an item of accomplishment, pointing out the ambiguity of being able to determine which aspects of Fleabag can be considered the ‘correct’ lessons.
Fleabag’s attempt to distinguish the ‘correct’ lessons go past the masturbation topic. The New Yorker’s review of Fleabag mentions Waller-Bridge’s opinion regarding rape when Claire and Fleabag enter a sketchy neighborhood: “We’re going to die here. We’re going to be raped and die.” In response to this dark humor, Nussbaum’s reaction reflects the review’s acclaim for Fleabag: “That punch line, about rape as a silver lining, is the sort of nasty zinger that some of us adore: a dirty joke with a feminist backhand, using shock to slice through anxiety and anger.” This response to the show’s harsh way of making fun at a constant fear women face on a daily basis is an intelligent, well thought-out one. Does this element of shock generate the appropriate reaction for all viewers? What about those watching that do not have this humor gage? Those are the people I am concerned about as they process the many dark-humor moments of Fleabag.
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Even in a show that challenges conventional female stereotypes, women can’t catch a break. If they love themselves too outwardly, as Fleabag’s stepmother does, they are condemned for being self-obsessed. If they are too hard on themselves, like her sister Claire is, they are seen as unattractive or unconfident. Fleabag, especially, is never satisfied with herself and her past decisions. Although, aren’t we all? Everyone is constantly working to better themselves. Perhaps this is Waller-Bridge’s way of revealing this truth. In the end, though, if Fleabag can’t love herself after making major and minor bad decisions, why should the average female viewer encourage self-loving behavior?
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Fleabag’s dramedic tones explore serious themes such as suicide, depression, and rejection among a group of sad people. There is not a single character in the show, except perhaps Fleabag’s stepmother, that is genuinely happy, making an important statement about the current times we are living in. The millennial is not living in the same world our parents grew up in. We face debts the second we walk out of higher education, no one knows what they want in a relationship, job stability is low, and now we are facing a global pandemic.
As Fleabag explores these themes, which are important to discuss especially to enlighten other generations of the issues we are facing, viewers of all ages may leave with a laugh, but more importantly, they will leave with a sense of loathing and despair. Is Fleabag, and other shows alike, teaching viewers that depression, self-loathing, and damaged relationships are cool? Is it telling people that they are not alone? Or perhaps both.
In the end, Fleabag is, most importantly, generating and continuing conversations around these difficult topics like gender norms and self-loathing. The shock value that Fleabag creates points us towards the lessons the show can offer. In consuming any art, people need to remember not to take everything they are watching too literally. Fleabag, just like the rest of us, has flaws that she needs to work on. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is making us look at the world around us, question it, and dissect it. If a viewer can do that appropriately, then they will learn the right lessons from this brilliant television show.
For now, that is all I have to say about Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag. So, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time!
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Dani Fish signing out.